Damn it, no Divine Intervention for us. We spent a fortune on an Indian Callcentre and then the Westvleteren monks decide to go commercial. The monks will soon be selling their cherished beer in the Belgian supermarket Colruyt. Why? Safety hazard is the main reason. Their Monastery apparently isn’t up to the fire safety code. Too much drinking and not enough paying attention?
We are furious. You do not throw away your religious beliefs for something as low as commerce. Disgrace! Blasphemy! Sacrilege! But wait, are we really that mad? Are we really upset?
A truly exclusive trappist beer. Brewed by real monks with beards and dresses, the real deal. It is a thing of beauty. Especially if you make the best beer in the world.
But can the best beer in the world be a beer that you will never drink? No, beer is drank by the masses. And that is how it should be. Beer should be widely available, beer should be shared with friends. Beer should be enjoyed.
You do not want to drink beer when you know that every sip is the last one you will ever have. And you really don’t want to know what every sip is costing you.
So…. Westvleteren go commercial! Do a coupon deal. Buy six get one free. Now with free inflatable monk. Ad a fun cross shaped opener with every six-pack. The Bavaria dress will get a run for their money with a monks robe in the colours of the Belgian Flag.
And these are just our free tips. So Westvleteren, give us a call, we will help you with your marketing plan.
We are happy. The nearest Colruyt is closer than Westvleteren. And no need to call, just fill up your cart. Where are the coupons?